Why is it that people say they ’slept
like a baby’ when babies wake up every
two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court,
is it still called a hearing?
Why do we press harder on a remote
control when we know the batteries are
flat?
Why do banks charge a fee
on ‘insufficient funds’ when they know
there is not enough?
Why does someone believe you when you
say there are four billion stars, but
check when you say the paint is wet?
Why do they use sterilized needles for
death by lethal injection?
Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with
his chest, but ducks when you throw a
revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an ‘S’ in the
word ‘lisp’?
What is the speed of darkness?
Are there specially reserved parking
spaces for ‘normal’ people at the
Special Olympics?
If the temperature is zero outside
today and it’s going to be twice as
cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
If it’s true that we are here to help
others, what are the others doing here?
Do married people live longer than
single ones or does it only seem
longer?
Do you cry under water?
How is it that we put man on the moon
before we figured out it would be a
good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why do people pay to go up tall
buildings and then put money in
binoculars to look at things on the
ground?
Did you ever stop and wonder……
Who was the first person to look at a
cow and say, ‘I think I’ll squeeze
these pink dangly things here, and
drink whatever comes out?’
Who was the first person to say, ‘See
that chicken there… I’m gonna eat
the next thing that comes outta it’s
bum.’
Why
do toasters always have a setting so
high that could burn the toast to
a horrible crisp, which no decent
human being would eat?
Why is there a light in the fridge and
not in the freezer?
Why do people point to their wrist
when asking for the time, but don’t
point to their bum when they ask where
the bathroom is?
Why does your Obstetrician,
Gynaecologist leave the room when you
get undressed if they are going to
look up there anyway ?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto
remains on all fours? They’re both
dogs!
Can blind people see their dreams? Do
they dream??
If quizzes are quizzical, what are
tests? (This one kills me!!!!)
If corn oil is made from corn, and
vegetable oil is made from vegetables,
then what is baby oil made from ?
If electricity comes from electrons,
does morality come from morons?
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle,
Twinkle Little Star have the same
tune?
Stop singing and read
on . . . . . . . . . .
Do illiterate people get the full
effect of Alphabet Soup?
Did you ever notice that when you blow
in a dog’s face, he gets mad at
you, but when you take him on a car
ride, he sticks his head out the
window?
Does pushing the elevator button more
than once make it arrive faster?
